Get to the top and be all there

I reach the top of the mountain feeling invincible.

Okay, okay - I reached the top of Hengistbury Head. But if you have climbed up that deceptively steep hill then you’ll know that smug feeling when you reach the top. Please tell me it’s not just me and my neglected calves that struggle? 

A full panoramic view of Southbourne, Christchurch and beyond. It is simply breathtaking. Yet somehow I’m distracted. You have a new voice note from Emily - my smart watch tells me. I better see what she has to say. A new notification from Facebook. Must check immediately. And another notification (this time from instagram). Right - I need to stop and catch up. The notifications are overwhelming. 

And in that moment, at the top of Hengistbury Head, I realise that I’m no longer enjoying what’s in front of me. I’ve been swept away from the immediate offline world to an insistent online world. And it doesn’t ever seem to stop. The noise and pull of a world that exists inside our screens is always there. It’s always taking us away from the present moment. 

How can we stop this? How can we let go of the need to always be present with our phones? In letting go of our attachment to our digital life, how can we become more aware of what, some might say, is real life? Can the two worlds - online and offline - ever coexist? Let me share some of my thoughts, musings and discoveries that have helped me to navigate this inner conflict and suggest some ways we can overcome some of those feelings. Just let me catch up on my Facebook messages first…

We’re all in this together. I can’t speak for all of us but I think it’s fair to say - generally speaking - that this is a problem for most of us. Most of us know that we spend too much time on our phones or glued to some device. You just need to walk down the street and see heads bowed down, worshipping the gods of Apple to know that we’re at crisis point. We are a society of the digital age and we just can’t get enough of the blue glare. Like any problem, the first step to overcoming it is to recognise that the problem exists. It also helps to know that you’re not alone in this. The problem is there nonetheless. However - is it always a problem? Is our constant attachment to our screens always an issue?

Screens are not the enemy - it’s not them, it’s me. Living in a digital age isn’t all bad. I want to acknowledge that. I can connect with friends from across the globe in seconds. I can access new information at the tap of a button. I can collaborate with others in an online community that I might not have done without a screen. My work heavily relies on screens - multiple screens in fact. Screens, digital devices and social media - they aren’t all bad. So when do they become a problem?

The cycle of scrolling that you just can’t stop. That’s when it becomes a problem. When you find yourself on a treadmill that you can’t find the off button for. I’m sure you’ve been on that treadmill - if you’re not already on it. You check one message and then remember you haven’t replied to another. Then a new message appears which requires you to check the group chat. The group chat that you’ve neglected for days so you have to check in so the participants know you’re still alive. The window for your ideal food delivery slot is closing soon - must just book it in before you forget. And bam - before you know it, half an hour (if not more) has gone. And no one ever feels good after a manic session of scrolling - do they? I certainly don’t. I always find myself getting frustrated that I managed to get sucked into that inevitable pull. How on earth can I stop this?

Ask yourself the question: ‘is it really worth it? Can it wait?’ I’ll answer it for you: most of the time, it really CAN wait. Most of the time, it isn’t an emergency. Most of the time, the world won’t stop spinning if you dare to take a little bit of time to respond. Most of the time, you won’t miss out much on what’s going online. But let me tell you - you’ll miss an awful lot of what’s going on offline…

The elderly lady walking her dog, longing to talk to anyone who passes by.

The business man marching with purpose but stopping as he locks eyes with you realising he needs to slow down.

The baby squirrels that scurry around in an environment that endures all weathers. (Can we talk about the excitement of seeing a baby squirrel?)

All sights that I have seen prior to my descent to the top.The top of Hengistbury Head that is. The scrolling can wait. It can all wait. Right now, all I want to be is here. Completely here.